Building Your Self-Confidence

Lauren Lee
Jun 28
3 min read

Ever heard the saying confidence is the key to success? Have you ever wondered how to even develop confidence in the first place? The inherent desire to build an unwavering sense of self-confidence is an aspiration that many, if not all, individuals can attest to. The problem is, the journey to gaining confidence remains ambiguous for most. In a recent survey, nearly 85% of people worldwide struggle with low self-esteem, a statistic that further proves the prevalence of this universal struggle.

In today's blog, we will explore three major questions to tackle this problem:

(1) What is confidence?

(2) The psychology behind confidence

(4) The causes of low confidence

(3) How to build self-confidence

What is confidence?

Confidence can be defined in multiple ways. According to Merriam Webster, definitions vary:

"A feeling of consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances"
"Faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way"
"The quality or state of being certain" ("Confidence").

Self-confidence, on the other hand, shifts the focus solely on the individual, defining it as a feeling of trust in one's own abilities, qualities, and judgment ("Confidence"). Certainty, trust, and faith are all characteristics integral to the meaning of confidence, . Evidently, having a firm belief in oneself and their individual capabilities is the basis to which confidence builds upon.

The 4 levels of confidence:

Confidence in a decision
Confidence in a task
Confidence in a cognitive domain
Confidence in ourselves

How does confidence work?

Psychological research on confidence has uncovered a unique pattern between self-esteem and motivation. Individuals who have a high level of confidence in themselves (and their abilities) tend to have a better sense of control over what happens to them. This self-assurance then strengthens their ability to approach challenges, and successfully overcoming these challenges then boost their confidence. This cycle forms a positive feedback loop that consistently builds self-confidence.

On the contrary, individuals lacking in confidence likely find themselves stuck with the mentality of "I can't do it" when approaching challenges and will thus give up trying or will not fully give their best. In missing the opportunity to positive reinforce their confidence, these individuals have reduced chances of developing confidence in themselves, forming a loop of constant uncertainty and negative self-esteem.

Building your Confidence

Confidence requires a positive view of yourself. This means shutting down any negative self-talk (i.e. I can't do it/I'm not good enough). You need to trust yourself and your abilities, believe that you have control of your life, understand your strengths and weaknesses, and set realistic expectations/goals.

In reality, confidence is largely based on self-perception rather than ability, which is why it is so important to refrain from thinking negatively about yourself. A lack of self-confidence most often stems from a fear of failure, growing up in an unsupportive environment, or judging yourself too harshly.

Steps to Build self-confidence:

Set realistic goals. Nobody is perfect.
Mistakes are opportunities for growth and do not dictate your future (the acronym for F.A.I.L. stands for First Attempt In Learning!).
Be kind to yourself & believe in yourself! Remember, nothing can stop you but yourself.
Silence negative thoughts.
Don't allow others to determine your worth. Focus on your strengths, don't compare yourself to others, and just go for it! Building confidence requires tackling challenges. What's hurting you the most is not trying at all.
Surround yourself with the right people who will lift you up, not bring you down.