The Problem with Perfectionism

Imperfection is inherent in every single human being. However, we, as people, oftentimes find ourselves seeking for perfection that doesn't exist, and the dangers of constantly striving to be perfect can lead to a crippling dependence on the idea that achievement is definitive of one's sense of self-worth.

This issue has become rather prevalent in an academic context-specifically in high school. Achievements take on increasing significance, and grades become non negotiable. High-achieving students often aspire for big goals and, in turn, work very hard to reach them. The reality is that this intense ambition can turn into perfectionism, a mentality that has the capacity to not only negatively impact academic success, but to also harm mental health and well-being.

Behavioral and cognitive signs of perfectionism:

• Unrealistic expectations/standards

• Fear of failure

• Prioritizes results

• Procrastination

• High self-criticism

Impact on Mental Health

The pursuit of perfection in as many as one, or all aspects of one's life can lead to increased chance of experiencing disappointment, dissatisfaction, and overall discouragement in oneself and the efficacy of their abilities. This can lead to a negative self-perception and the heightened frequency of thoughts like "I can't do this" or "I'm not good enough," which can deeply affect confidence levels, and to a certain extent, self-acceptance.

Numerous research, such as Oxford's study on perfectionism in adolescents and its effect on achievement and wellbeing, discovered significant connections between perfectionism and mental health disorders including depression, anxiety, OCD, or eating disorders. The antagonistic developments caused by perfectionism prove to vastly contribute to the undermining of cognitive and psychological health, making young individuals more and more susceptible to endangerment-a bleak reality for people worldwide-but ironically, not unequally biased in the common belief.

Perfectionism Leads to Procrastination

The vast majority of people maintain the idea that studious and ambitious students in school are somewhat immune to procrastination-which is hardly true.

In actuality, individuals with perfectionist traits tend to procrastinate more than the average person. Why? They strive for perfection in whatever they do, and "if they can’t do something perfectly the first time, they may keep putting it off for fear of failing" (Kent, 2023).

Finding Freedom from Perfectionism

While it may seem difficult, or even near impossible, to free yourself from the constant clutches of seeking perfection, whether it be in your academics, career, or personal life, you can change your relationship with perfectionism by shifting your mentality:

1. Embrace imperfection. Mistakes, and failures are a natural and inherent part of the human experience. Without it, we are incapable of growth! Learning to embrace imperfections will free you from the need for perfection, and thus, you'll be able to find acceptance for yourself and your flaws.

2. Practice self-compassion. Instead of criticizing yourself in the face of struggle or failure, engage in positive self-talk. Encourage yourself, be patient, and show yourself kindness. Imagine what you would say if your friend was in the same situation. Oftentimes, we are hardest on ourselves, but we need to remember to treat ourselves with the same amount of compassion, empathy, and love that we treat others.

3. Focus your perspective on what really matters. It's easy to get lost in the pursuit of perfect grades. Take a step back and remind yourself of your larger goal. Perfection is not what determines success. Rather, it is your ability to embrace failure, learn from your mistakes, and seek growth in every opportunity.

4. Progress > Perfection. Celebrate your achievements-not matter how little or insignificant they may seem. Every step you take toward your goal requires deserves applause.

"You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure." -Steve Maraboli

Remember: don't be so hard on yourself! Seeking perfection will only leave you feeling inadequate and unsatisfied. Remind yourself that nobody is perfect-it's impossible to be. Value your mistakes and stumbles. They will lend you the strength and grit and determination to achieve anything in life!

Lauren Lee is a high school senior fascinated with psychology and creative expression. She founded Brain Behind Behavior to explore the cognitive science behind mental health challenges facing teens today.

Sources

lparsons. (2023, November 6). Perfectionism Might Be Hurting You. Here’s How to Change Your Relationship to Achievement - Harvard Summer School. Harvard Summer School. https://summer.harvard.edu/blog/perfectionism-might-be-hurting-you-heres-how-to-change-your-relationship-to-achievement/#How-to-Identify-Perfectionism

Alva, A. (2022, February 24). Striving to be the Best: The prevalence of perfectionism in young people and the impact on their achievement and well-being | OxJournal. Www.oxjournal.org. https://www.oxjournal.org/striving-to-be-the-best/

Martin, S. (2021, February 5). Embrace Your Imperfections | Psychology Today. Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202102/embrace-your-imperfections